I. You do not need a boy to buy expensive, lacy underwear. Wear it for yourself. You look great. Never let anyone convince you otherwise.
II. If you spend all your time waiting for things to happen, you’re letting other people control your fate. Time won’t wait for you. Get a move on.
III. Living off the scraps of love from other people will leave you hungry. Grow to love yourself and you won’t die of starvation.
IV. Learn when to care and when to laugh it off. If somebody hurts you, tell them. If they hurt you again, leave.
V. Life is too short to spend it sad. You don’t need approval to turn up the music and dance like you’re America’s next model. You look funny. Learn to stop caring.
VI. If it’s edible and you’re hungry, eat it. If it’s edible and you want to eat it, eat it. If it’s edible and you’re full , convince the girl in the corner who looks like she’s starving to have it. Tell her she’s goddamn beautiful and repeat it until she smiles.
VII. If he doesn’t call you after your first argument, he won’t call you after your last. If his arms are slack when you make up, he hasn’t let it go. If he can’t look you in the eye when he says he loves you, he’s lying. And if he watches you walk away with tears in your eyes, he’s not the one.
VIII. Your mother went through nine months of hell for you and prepared herself to go through another eighteen years of it. She does not deserve your impatience because some boy did not notice you at school.
IX. Your emotions may not make sense and sometimes you will be irrational, but they will always be valid. You are allowed to cry if you are hurt. You are allowed to find bad jokes funny. And you are allowed to scream if you want to, but it is better to laugh.
X. You are not perfect but that does not give other people the right to use it against you. Stop apologizing for everything. It will not make you more likable. Take responsibility for yourself and demand respect, not compliments.
XI. No one can tell you the meaning of life. Happy people are the ones who have found their own meaning.
"What do you want?"
He was fuming.
"For once, just once, could you please just ask yourself what YOU want?" He begged.
She was silent.
"Stop, stop for god’s sakes wondering how others are going to respond. Stop questioning how your actions are going to effect them. Stop thinking you’re a bad person for putting yourself first.
You’re your own person. Who gives a damn what other people do? What they say? Whether they judge you or talk behind your back? You realise no matter how hard you try they’ll do it anyway?”
He looked exasperated and she took a breath before answering.
"I want you. I want you without a doubt in the world. I want your kisses and your friendship and everything in-between; the fights, the laughter and the stupid moments that always seem to make the best memories.
I want the feeling of my heart skipping a beat each time my mind wanders over thoughts of you and the memory of how I felt your heart beating through your shirt.
I want to eat strawberries with you in fields and get screamed at by farmers for sitting on their property. I want love and affection but I need more than that. I need you to be patient with me while I find out what it is that I want.
Can you do that?”
He smiled and pulled her close, and she buried her face in his chest.
"Yes. I can do that. Because, as I keep telling you, that’s what I want too."
Here’s why you shouldn’t commit suicide:
1. There’s so much left to see and do in the world.
2. This one person is so teeny tiny and no matter how you feel now they’re not as great as you think.
3. One day you’ll wake up next to the love of your life and you’ll be glad you waited and worked for it.
4. You’ll never hear your favourite song again.
5. Plus, think of all the amazing music you’ve still got left to discover!
6. You’ll never taste chocolate, or pizza, or the thousands of other ridiculously unhealthy but delicious foods out there.
7. You’ll never be able to go sky diving, parachuting, free falling, paragliding or any multitude of activities that make you feel like you’re flying.
8. Think of how much your family will miss you (clue: a lot)
9. You’ll never read another book (this alone should convince you not to commit suicide; books are the single most wonderful thing in the world)
10. You won’t get to travel the world and see everything you’ve ever wanted.
11. You’ll never be able to help another suicidal person and convince them not to take their life
12. You miss sunsets and sun rises and everything in-between.
13. Skinny dipping.
14. Think of all the jokes and giggles and laughter you’ve still left to share.
15. Think of all the wonders of the world you’ve still left to behold.
16. You wouldn’t allow your best friend to take their own life if they were in the same situation.
17. There are more reasons to live than die.
18. You’ll never see, feel, touch snow again.
19. You won’t be here to watch all the wonderful Disney films which are bound to appear in subsequent years.
20. You won’t be here to get shouted at for singing too loudly in the showers and not caring
21. You’ll miss feeling the rain on your skin and getting drenched in the downpour
23. You owe it to your future self to keep going
24. Suicide is very very rarely a good idea
25. Talking to someone will make you feel better and you won’t regret it.
26. Time heals all wounds
27. You’ll never feel the sun on your back and wonder how the universe was formed
28. You’re more important than you think
29. Somewhere, someone is looking at you and thinking you’re the most beautiful, wonderful person they’ve ever seen
30. If you’re not alive, you’ll never meet them
31. Unrequited love is a lesson, not an ending
32. You have a purpose, and that purpose isn’t to find someone who loves you; it’s infinitely more complex.
33. You’ll miss New Years kisses and passionate make out sessions at Christmas.
34. Puppies and kittens, and more generally all baby animals.
35. No one will ever get to see that beautiful smile ever again.
36. You’re stronger than you know, and you’re strong enough to get past this.
37. You’ll never learn how to make sushi (and believe me you’re missing out because sushi is delicious)
38. You won’t be able to join a choir
39. You won’t be able to join a band
40. You won’t be able to join a circus
41. In fact you won’t be able to join anything
42. You’ll miss kite flying and hot air ballooning on hot summer days
43. No more picnics under the stars or barbecues in the shade
44. You won’t get to go to festivals or music events
45. You’ll never get to stand up for something you really believe in, like human or animal rights
46. You won’t fulfil your dreams
47. There are so many more people to meet, friends to make, lovers to kiss
48. You’ll never go to another zoo; meet another panda or polar bear or hippopotamus
49. You won’t get to go for long walks in parks
50. Or sunbathe and fall asleep in the daylight
51. You’ll never have pillow fights at midnight
52. You’ll never see another solar or lunar eclipse.
53. There won’t be a chance to learn a new language
54. Nor a new instrument
55. Writing in a diary is so much more effective in pain relief than physical harm (it’s also more constructive and less destructive)
56. You’re a human being with so much potential
57. You can either come out of this stronger, or you can give up
58. Prove everyone who ever thought you were weak wrong
59. You may not be loved romantically, but you are still loved
60. Consider how lucky you are and what you have first, and you will be much happier
61. Ice cream (and sorbet)
62. Desserts in general
63. Running is much more effective than physical harm
64. You don’t want to let your demons win, do you?
65. You haven’t completed everything on your bucket list
66. You’ll never go to the beach again and feel the unreasonably satisfying sensation of sand between your toes
67. The sound of the ocean hugging the shore will be lost
68. You won’t go snorkelling or scuba diving or surfing in the sea
"Are you ashamed of me?" She said quietly, as though she were a small child apologising for a crime.
He looked horrified. “Why would you ask something like that?”
She bristled slightly. “You won’t let me meet your friends. You won’t tell your mother about me. You won’t tell anyone about us.
"I don’t want to be your dirty little secret."
She almost teared up and cursed herself for being so emotional.
"Is that all?" He said, visibly relieved. "You want to meet my friends? My mother?"
He almost laughed. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You taught me how to love, how to care about someone other than myself. You taught me how to live. Please forgive me if I want you all to myself for a while longer.”
She managed a smile between the oncoming sobs.
He continued, “You want to tell people? Fine. Let’s tell the world. I could never be ashamed of you. Because if I was, that would mean I was ashamed of my life, and I am very proud of my life.”
Don’t love her despite her flaws. Love her because of them.
She is not beautiful.
No, she is a riot of emotions, tumbling forth from the darkest clouds like a thousand heavy raindrops, ready to drown you in an instant, should you step too close.
She is the sun shining on your face that makes you believe in fairy tales although you swore you outgrew them in fifth grade and that they were stupid.
She is the wind, too stubborn to let you pass in a blizzard, too proud to let you win. And yet like the cool summer breeze she will calm your mind, extinguishing in the process the very fire she burned you with.
She is strong like diamond, formed in the extremest of conditions, yet she is also weak like crystal, easily broken and hard to mend.
Her sobs will break your heart and her laughter will heal it again, and you’ll wonder how someone so happy can be so sad at the same time.
Her words will be crafted so eloquently you’ll wonder where she learnt to speak like this and to disguise her emotions so well. And you will search, under the many layers of contradiction that she hides, to find the lost and frightened girl from long ago.
And if you’re lucky enough that she lets you in, past the fortresses and walls; if you’re lucky enough to see a side to her which is vulnerable and unguarded; innocent and trusting, don’t take it for granted or treat her like she’s insignificant.
She’s complex and a mystery. But if she gives you her heart she will love you fiercely and without exception.
She is not beautiful. But she hopes you will love her just the same.